Memo at Midnight: How to really help someone in pain

Remember how you felt when you were at the very lowest point in your life?? You may have felt exhausted, hopeless and maybe even worthless, like the dust floating around in the street…. untethered to anything sane or concrete.

Luckily, most of us find ways to snap out of this state of mind and feel better. For others this may be more difficult. It may take more time. Why??

We are all unique. Two people may suffer from similar issues but can still be different when it comes to how they deal with those issues.

A mistake I see that gets made all the time by those of us who are trying to be helpful is to expect what has worked for us to work for other people, too. We may even get annoyed that other people aren’t following our brilliant and “expert” advice.

Best practice: Make your most well-intentioned suggestions and then hope for the best. That’s it. Don’t get on an ego trip.

Most of us do not like to be forced to do anything we don’t want to do and the way we go about solving a problem will be tainted by a myriad of life experiences both good and bad.

Sometimes, all a person really needs is someone to listen and accept them.

Memo at midnight: For those hurting right now…

Memo at midnight: Love the world, beware the lion


  1. This is such a wonderful post! Everybody is different and when you’re feeling not well, it is very personal. We can comfort each other and find recognition in stories of others but we’ll need to find out for ourselves what works in our life.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Great advice. JoAnn. Usually, the best help we can offer is just to listen.

    Too often, we let our egos cloud our judgment, particularly when we fancy ourselves as the “savior” As you mention, this leads to frustration that the problem persists, and even resentment that our ideas aren’t received in grateful awe.

    The last thing someone in jeopardy needs is an overbearing busybody. Best to get over ourselves.

    Liked by 2 people

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