Memo at midnight: Unfinished drafts and keeping sane in an insane world

Our minds are such amazing and extraordinary tools aren’t they? Completely wonderous yet complex even beyond our own understanding.

I say this because I have 111 unfinished entries in my blog’s draft folder. Unfinished thoughts. Incomplete ideas. Stuff that started with a spark but fizzled out at some point. Worth saving though… perhaps to be fleshed out at some later date in order to get the fire going again.

My total published posts equals 175, which means well over a third of the posts I start never actually get finished and published. Don’t know exactly what that means… either I’m a keen editor or I’m more than one-third scatterbrained. Maybe both.


When young gymnists are learning to do their fantastic little spins they are told to focus on something concrete as they start to spin. It helps them keep track of the number of spins plus it keeps them from getting dizzy.

Keeping focused requires a sharp and healthy mind. I don’t know about you but it’s been difficult for me to remain focused lately. I feel like a lot of the progress I once made has been slipping away. I can literally feel it crumbling as I try to muster up the courage and energy to combat it.

These last few months have been so trying haven’t they? Been dazed and confused… in some kind of weird funk I guess. Some days I don’t know if I’m coming or going. If I’m up or down. Am I sane or crazy? Are my eyes wide open or am I asleep at the wheel? Am I in control or completely out of control? Is this all just a dream or some kind of nightmare?

You and me, we have to be like the little gymnists and stay focused. Find ways to rejuvenate our energy and quell the dizzy feeling that keeps us off balanced. It ain’t easy. The pull towards falling into old ways of coping is very strong for me right now… giving into depression, allowing myself to disassociate, to check out mentally. Letting time slip away into the cracks of nothingness.

Gotta make a new plan Stan. Hop on the bus Gus. Just get free*.

Gotta be strong. Pick up and dust off. Make a fresh start… Bart?

*Paraphrased words from “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” by Paul Simin


More Memos at Midnight:
Memo at midnight: Disassociating and just slogging through
Memo at midnight: Jus
t stop and smell the roses 🌹🥀

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Pexels.com

15 comments

  1. Yes these are confusing times. I am trying to focus on one day at a time, which I find pretty difficult. There are so many demands from the world, it is hard to keep the balanced. I am lucky in so far as I am a pensionist now and do not have to venture out if I don’t wish to.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Is it “those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer” or early onset dementia?
    This corona virus induced isolationism saps our mental energies. Writing a daily journal, when nothing changes from day to day, can become like watching paint dry.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes that is true. I still go out to work 5 days a week but then I constantly have to be careful about what I touch and who is around me, not to mention wearing the mask, which I do even though I hate it. Plus only going out in order to go to work or get food isn’t much fun… but at least I do get out 😕

      Like

  3. Considering, the caliber of what you publish, JoAnn, I imagine each of the “111” is a triumph waiting to happen. Unsure how close each one is to being a compete entry, but at least a few of them must be only a paragraph or so away from being gifted to an intrigued and/or delighted audience.

    A nice reserve to have, in case of a spasm of writer’s block. Of course, we (your “public”) may grow restless, now that we know of this reserve. Soon enough , we’ll clamor for the 111 you’ve yet to release. Fair warning.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aww that’s nice of you to say that. There are very few that are anywhere near to being publishable, unfortunately. I don’t really have trouble with writer’s block or coming up with topics. My only problem is finding available time.

      Liked by 1 person

      • You too, JoAnn?

        We set out on our journeys, then life happens. Before we know it, it’s four days later. While I may not be adept always at responding right away, I’ve been thinking all along about what you wrote.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh that’s perfectly fine… and I completely understand. I don’t always respond right away either. I try to catch up on my days off but on the days I work I often don’t have the time or extra energy. Hey, this is the real world. In a perfect world I could just blog as much as I want when I want… maybe one of these days!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Dazed is a pretty good way to describe the state of my mind. Good days and fuzzy days. But I do what I can, when I can. It is an interesting time we find ourselves, and it’s just one day at a time now – fastidious plan-making doesn’t work so well in this environment anyway.

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