Our minds are such amazing and extraordinary tools aren’t they? Completely wonderous yet complex even beyond our own understanding.
I say this because I have 111 unfinished entries in my blog’s draft folder. Unfinished thoughts. Incomplete ideas. Stuff that started with a spark but fizzled out at some point. Worth saving though… perhaps to be fleshed out at some later date in order to get the fire going again.
My total published posts equals 175, which means well over a third of the posts I start never actually get finished and published. Don’t know exactly what that means… either I’m a keen editor or I’m more than one-third scatterbrained. Maybe both.
When young gymnists are learning to do their fantastic little spins they are told to focus on something concrete as they start to spin. It helps them keep track of the number of spins plus it keeps them from getting dizzy.
Keeping focused requires a sharp and healthy mind. I don’t know about you but it’s been difficult for me to remain focused lately. I feel like a lot of the progress I once made has been slipping away. I can literally feel it crumbling as I try to muster up the courage and energy to combat it.
These last few months have been so trying haven’t they? Been dazed and confused… in some kind of weird funk I guess. Some days I don’t know if I’m coming or going. If I’m up or down. Am I sane or crazy? Are my eyes wide open or am I asleep at the wheel? Am I in control or completely out of control? Is this all just a dream or some kind of nightmare?
You and me, we have to be like the little gymnists and stay focused. Find ways to rejuvenate our energy and quell the dizzy feeling that keeps us off balanced. It ain’t easy. The pull towards falling into old ways of coping is very strong for me right now… giving into depression, allowing myself to disassociate, to check out mentally. Letting time slip away into the cracks of nothingness.
Gotta make a new plan Stan. Hop on the bus Gus. Just get free*.
Gotta be strong. Pick up and dust off. Make a fresh start… Bart?
*Paraphrased words from “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” by Paul Simin