Memo at midnight: Anxiety… spoils all the fun!

“Get Nervous” is a song by Pat Benatar that is all about anxiety. I listened to it for the first time when I was like 12 or something and even though I liked the song I didn’t know anything about what the word anxiety actually meant.

I wish I still didn’t.

Even all the way back then, 1980-something, if I had known the true meaning of the word I would have realized it was something I already suffered from and would continue to do so for the rest of my life.

The thing that causes me the biggest anxiety: people. Not online. That seems to be ok. In “real life” though, I’ve always had trepidations about people. I don’t understand them too much and the stuff they do. I’m a person, so you wouldn’t think it would be that big of a deal.

Not so. Most of the time I feel disconnected and alienated from the vast majority of people… it’s like I’m on one side of the river and everyone else is on the other side… they seem to be having a lot of fun… once in a while I join in and feel connected for just a moment or two but then I remember that I’m still on the wrong side of the river. It makes me sad… and sometimes mad… sounds so self-centered maybe… but that’s just how it feels.

Anyway, enjoy the video! It features a great cameo by… someone who looks amazingly similar to Peter Dinklage… as a crazed medical professional of some kind…. hmmm….


Girl, Interupted

Memo at midnight: Don’t be afraid to talk about mental health

19 comments

  1. One area (among many) where you most definitely are not alone, JoAnn, is in feeling much more anxiety in “real” life than you do online. That most definitely is a good description of me. Of most of the people here, I suspect.

    Online, we have the time to think about what we read and then, in turn, to give thought to an appropriate response. In addition, many of life’s pretenses are shed online, both ours and others’, leaving interactions much less heavily laden.

    “Real” life? Huh-uh. We’re expected to have a perfect response at the ready. Delivered flawlessly, of course. I mean, that’s the way it is on television and in movies, right?

    OK, give me several million dollars and a team of top-of-their-craft writers. Oh, and unlimited “takes,” too. Then, yes then, I’ll be golden.

    Until I am, I’ll be anxious. Hence, the anxiety. An occupational hazard of those living in the real world.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes you are very right. I would have to guess that a large percentage of those of us who have blogs are also people who have taken up the medium as a way to make up for some kind of connection we are lacking in real life. It’s not unreasonable to say that anxiety may play an equally large role in those connection problems.

      I once told a professor that my thinking process seemed to be slower than some other people in class, which is why I liked writing so much as opposed to talking. She pretty much scoffed at me… as in she didn’t believe me at all. Not nice I thought 😕

      Like

  2. I’m so sorry you have anxiety, but you’re not alone. You’re not alone on whichever side of the river you are. It might seem so but it isn’t. I know it doesn’t get easier and meds just make it manageable, can’t always cure it but it’s okay. Sometimes, people become support systems, like bridges between the two sides of the river. So hold on till you find yourself people like that. Hugs 💜🥺

    Liked by 1 person

    • One of those two 🙂
      That’s why I’ve found mindfulness practice to be so helpful. In basic terms mindfulness is simply immersing yourself in some kind of activity so that the mind gets distracted from whatever is causing the anxiety. Hopefully that works more often than the Valium! I’d be lying though if I said I never ever in my life used certain strong painkillers to deal with anxiety. 😳

      Liked by 1 person

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