Christmas survival guide: Humor saves the day

The Christmas season can be a wonderful time of magical joy… it can also be a speedy vehicle to wanting to do the follow:

  • Drink something alcoholic.
  • Develop new curse words.
  • Smoke a lot of weed.
  • Flip the bird to all those faker Hallmark Christmas movies.
  • Slap silly everyone in you family.
  • Tell your boss to shove a Christmas tree up his/her arse.
  • Drive your car into a snowdrift.
  • Jump off an icy bridge somewhere.
  • Dedicate “You Give Love a Bad Name” to your significant other.
  • Play “Grandma got ran over by a reindeer” repeatedly.
  • Kick your neighbor.
  • Curl up on your couch with a blanket, your beloved pet and an enormous plate of Christmas cookies.
  • And, lasty, enjoy silly Christmas cat (and dog) memes like these…

Also check out Cats vs Christmas trees!

Amazon 12 Funny Cat Christmas Cards with Envelopes - Pet  Animal Holiday Humor
Cute Santa Christmas cat meme

21 comments

  1. A down-to-earth list, JoAnn! Aren’t the Hallmark movies an abomination in tinsel? Haha! May you find the light that is sure and steady, and may your home be a place, always, of warmth and love. Good to know you’re leaving room for the more sardonic side of life, as well!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Great “Top Ten” (or thereabouts) list JoAnn. Hilarious, more like!

    So help me, I find Hallmark movies to be particularly annoying. Even if I were to watch one – don’t worry, I won’t – I’d be able to tell you before the first line is spoken exactly what’s going to happen. They’re that cloyingly formulaic.

    Sure, they’re some people’s cups of tea. Fair enough. Some people also like popcorn balls. See what I did here? It’s never too late (or early) for a dig at Halloween’s most dire atrocity.

    As for your list, I have another sardonic celebration of the Christmas season – watch “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas” for, like, the 1,762nd time, hoping that this time, at last, the “Old School” Grinch wins.

    Oh, regarding the memes, awesome, but in what alternate universe is possible to get a cat to don holiday garb? I’m calling out shenanigans…and Photoshop.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Ha ha, that is true. Cats tend to have swift reactions to stuff they don’t like… which is typically most anything that doesn’t involve food.

      I love The Grinch reference… now I know why that movie has always bothered me! Love the popcorn ball reference, too. Ha ha 🤣

      There’s little to no practicality to the typical Hallmark movie. They should classify them as science fiction… or maybe just terrible comedy. Perhaps there really are people on the planet who can relate to these movies… my late grandma maybe… or 13 year old girls. I used to read her silly romance magazines when I was growing up. That was before I graduated to Sydney Sheldon, Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Jackie Collins.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh yeah, JoAnn, aren’t Hallmark movies…precious? Gotta admit my mother watches them sometimes. Especially around Christmas. I stopped by the house last week, and one of them was on the set. Then, just yesterday I visited, and, same thing.

        Different movies, different actors, but the storyline was the same. Even the music matched. Seriously. Apparently, Hallmark blew its entire music budget on a single session with a band, and now they’re playing the h*** out of that one piece of music.

        Now, speaking up for Mom, she’s smart, and the movies usually are background noise while she reads, cleans, cooks, etc.

        Besides, I have my own peculiar entertainment choices. For example, I’ve been known to watch “From Russia with Love” every time it’s on air, despite having seen it something like 1,500 times already. The last viewing was a glass raised in Connery’s memory, but the 1,499 times prior…

        Liked by 2 people

        • We all have our favorites don’t we? I have to admit I’ve never seen From Russia with Love but now it’s on my radar and I will have to see it if I can watch it sometime soon.

          I’ve watched Cast Away a zillion (or so) times and luckily they play it on various cable netwroks all the time so there are plenty of opportunities. I might have hit my limit though as far as that movie is concerned… in the past Forest Gump was another favorite, as it was for a lot of other people. One that might be odd is that I used to love to watch the movie Evita… the one with Madonna. A lot of people seemed to hate that movie but I loved it.

          I think you are definitely right about the formulaic format of Hallmark movies. The plot usually centers on otherwise completely perfect people who have one minor problem to work out during the movie. I guess that’s what makes them seem so silly. Oh well, I’m sure you love your mother and can forgive her for this one thing!

          Liked by 1 person

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